On me! On me!
To your right, to your right! On me!
Five, six.
Seven.
- Did anybody see Stan go down? - No, mate.
OK. Three minutes, then we go back for him.
Go right! Go right!
- You OK? - Christ!
I'm dehydrating. I'm still wearing my thermals.
- Mark, give us a fix, mate. - OK, mate.
Tony.
- Shit, it's a green one. - Give it here. I'll have it.
You're a doctor. Aren't you going to ask me?
- What? - How my herpes is getting on.
Baz. You've got the radio, mate?
No, it was shot to shit. We've still got the TACBE, though.
- Yes! - Let's call in the AWACS
and get shot of this nonsense.
- Chris, you got the medic kit? - No, but I saved my flask.
Oh, great One of us takes a round, we'll be glad to have a quick nib.
- You OK? - My leg's buggered.
I must've hurt it on a hill It's not broken.
- You want me to have a look at it? - No, if I keep moving it'll be OK.
Take a look at it, Stan.
Shit.
- No. - Shit.
- Baz, get on the TACBE. - Yeah.
Yeah, let's get in some air support.
Hello, AWACS. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We are a ground call sign, over.
- No link. - Yeah.
Hello, AWACS. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We are a ground call sign, over.
Christ, is it my imagination or is it getting cold?
Hello, AWACS. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We are a ground call sign. I have a fix for you, over.
Oh, shit!
Hello, any call sign. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We are a ground call sign and need assistance, over.
OK. Options.
We either go for the heli Rv or we head for Syria.
- How far is the border? - At line of sight, about 170Ks.
- It's a hell of a long tab. - Don't worry about it, mate.
On the other hand, between us and the heli
there's a lot of pissed-off people.
Even if we make the heli Rv, doesn't mean Harry will
If there's one set of guns, there'll be more. Many more.
- So it's the border. - Yeah.
- Are you up to it?
OK. Chris, you go lead scout.
Then Stan and Ray. I'll back them. Then the rest of you.
OK, let's go!
- Here, stick that on your head. - Cheers.
{y: I}We'd left the contact well behind {y: I}and were looking good.
{y: I}Then the weather changed. {y: I}"Spring day in the UK'; my arse.
{y: I}It was the worst this region {y: I}had experienced in 30 years.
Aircraft. We're going to stop and try the TACBE.
We're going to try the TACBE. We're going to try the TACBE.
Get me a fix, Mark.
Hello, any call sign. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We're a ground call sign, and we're in the shit, over.
Hello, any call sign. This is Bravo Two Zero.
We're a ground call sign and we're in the shit, over.
Say again, Bravo Two Zero. You're weak.
Turn back north, turn back north, over.
Hello, any call sign. This is Bravo Two Zero, over.
No joy.
- Where's Ray? - And Stan and Chris?
Where are they?
I told them to stop.
{y: I}We tabbed all night {y: I}but never found Ray or the others.
{y: I}I knew he was in a shit state.
{y: I}I should have checked {y: I}that he passed the message on.
{y: I}I should have checked.
{y: I}That night we did 85K. {y: I}That's two marathons.
{y: I}The only cover we could find {y: I}stood out like a dog's bollocks.
{y: I}This meant we'd leave sign "the moment we moved off",
{y: I}but this was the least of our worries. {y: I}Mark was down with hypothermia.
"Yeah", "hypothermia in the desert."
Listen, mate. You're not as cold as your body wants you to think.
- I'm not? - No.
And what's more...
...you're showing none of the symptoms of hypothermia.
That's good, mate.
Tell me, am I hallucinating or is this snow?
Bollocks to it. I'm going to make a brew.
Not only are we freezing to death,
you've now decided to put a sign out saying: "Here we are, come get us."
What is it? Coffee or hot chocolate?
OK, mate. Drink up.
You made it through last night. You ain't going to fall down on me now.
Are you still thinking about Ray and his crew?
- Yeah. - Well don't.
They're big and ugly enough to sort themselves out.
Oh, shit!
Another bleeding shepherd! And he's pinged us.
Looks like he's desperate for company.
- I don't believe it! - Where do they all come from?
- Tony, you better go talk to him. - My Arabic is shit.
Well you've got three minutes to become really fluent.
- English? - Yeah. Tony.
Mohammed.
What's he saying, mate?
Where is the market?
He's asking the way to Sainsbury's?
Oh, fucking outrageous!
{y: I}Still 70Ks to the border and we "needed to make it by first light",
"because if the Iraqis didn't kill us", {y: I}the weather was going to.
Make sure it's got a heater and a radio.
- Anything else? - Yeah. Power steering,
electric windows, ABS, CD player, mobile phone.
Shut up, will you?
I don't believe this!
- Get out! - Please!
We've been looking at the things all day.
- Get out! - Don't shoot! Please!
Please!
Please! No shoot, no kill!
Please!
- Shut up! - Move!
Please don't hurt my father. We're Christian. You see?
See?
Him Muslim!
Fuck off, mate!
Cigarettes! Here, I give you cigarettes!
Here!
What's his fucking problem?
You are stealing his taxi. It's his living.
Move!
Down, down, down!
It's going to be a tight fit, ain't it?
- What did you do with them? - They'll live.
Pissed-off, but they'll live.
Anybody know how to put these in forward?
No, down.
No, up.
Baz, give me some directions when we come to the junctions.
- Point me west. - How many Ks to the border?
- About 35, mate. - We'll drive as far as we can.
We'll dump it and cross on foot.
You see? Why didn't you lift something like that?
Mark, shut up. You were dying of hypothermia an hour ago.
Bollocks, mate!
# "My husband has breath like a dog"
# "His penis is small" {y: I}and covered with blackheads
# "Nowadays I sleep with the goats"
# "They have much bigger penises"
#"And are twice as intelligent..."
Anybody get that sign?
"Baghdad welcomes careful drivers."
But...
Did you know that Saddam Hussein is an anagram
of "He's a sad nudist"?
- Where did the "m" go? - I swapped it for a "t".
- You can't do that. - Well I just did.
That's not right.
What's the score?
Looks like some sort of checkpoint.
- How far to the border, Mark? - Still waiting, mate.
Do we stay or do we go?
We're going to go for that ridge on the left. OK?
It's about 11K, mate. 11K to the border.
- As soon as he pings us. - We'll take the other two.
Stand by.
Go, go, go!
Go! Come on!
OK, Mark!
Coming through!
On me, on me, on me!
One, two, three. Come on, come on!
Four! Go!
- Is that the border? - That's it, mate.
Let's do it.
Sentries.
Heavy machine guns. Trucks.
Military vehicles. The whole fucking army's there.
Shit!
Go, go, go!
Shit!
Come on, Ding, we can make it.
Bollocks to this!
I'm freezing!
The last one.
Ain't got none left, have you, mate?
Ta.
Ready?
Let's go.
{y: I}It took Mark and me most of the night
{y: I}to work our way {y: I}through the Iraqi positions.
{y: I}In all the confusión "we lost Tony", "Baz and Dinger."
{y: I}There was no time to think about that. {y: I}We were low on ammo.
{y: I}Soon the only weapon left "would be the darkness",
{y: I}and that was fading fast.
Let's go!
Mark!
Mark...
{y: I}0nly 2Ks to go.
"Four hours till last light", {y: I}and I could try again.
- Tel Aviv! - Tel Aviv!
- Your name? - McNab.
- Rank? - Sergeant.
Your unit?
I cannot answer that question.
- You are an Israeli? - No, I'm British.
- I'm just a British soldier. - You are an Israeli!
Do you take me for a foo"I?"
Can you tell me what you are doing here?
I'm a British soldier.
Just a British soldier.
You are an Israeli!
Pig!
Once again, what is your name?
McNab.
- Your rank? - Sergeant.
And your unit?
Under the Geneva Convention, I'm afraid I can't answer that question.
Fool!
We are not in Geneva.
- What is that? - It's gold.
Take it off. Show me.
- You like my English? - Yeah, it's very good.
Of course it is. Do you think I'm stupid?
You think we're all stupid.
Please.
I want you to tell me what Israel is doing here.
- Now. - I'm sorry. I can't answer that...
Fucking outrageous.
These coins are what?
Gold. Gold sovereigns.
Why do you carry such wealth?
In case we need food. It's bad to steal
Quite so.
"His boots were handmade", {y: I}probably in London.
{y: I}This boy had to be a rupert.
- Your name is? - McNab.
- Rank? - Sergeant.
- What do your friends call you? - Andy.
Andy.
Perhaps you can help me.
Of course, we have captured the other members of your group.
What I need to know now, Andy...
Are you the same group that was discovered three days ago?
- I'm trying to help you, Andy. - I don't understand.
I'm trying to help, but you're confusing me.
I don't know jack shit.
Have you eaten recently?
No.
So, Andy. What was your unit doing in this part of the worid?
Israeli, British... doesn't matter much to me.
For now.
However, both countries would not send men who know jack shit
into their enemy's territory.
You are special forces, Andy.
I understand that you are still doing your duty,
and you must understand that I have to do mine.
So, what was your task, Andy?
Please, don't insult me.
I don't even... I don't even know where I am.
The officers just order us about, they don't tell us anything.
I hate the army. They didn't tell me I would have to do things like this.
I mean, I don't even know why we're at war.
Do you know who the White Socks are, Andy?
No.
They are our secret police,
and their methods are far more brutal than ours.
So, I will ask you again:
What is your unit, and what were you doing in northern Iraq?
If you answer me truthfully, I will see what I can do to protect you.
There is nothing more I can do to help you.
Whoever your God is, you'll need him now.
- This is fucking outrageous! - Dinger?
Andy!
Bastard!
- Who's farted? - Dinger, shut the fuck up.
- You like? - Mmm. My favourite. What is it?
I make another just for you.
We're amongst barbarians.
Did you see what happened to Tony?
No. What about Baz?
Dead.
Hypothermia. We had to cross the river.
Oh, Andy. He was in a shit state, mate.
I compromised myself to the locals hoping they'd help,
but it was too late.
- What about Mark? - He's dead, mate.
He took some rounds really close up.
- How far did you get? - I was there. I could almost taste it.
- No talk, or bang, bang! - Yeah, yeah. OK, mate.
- Argh! - Up, up, up!
- You all right? - Scared shitless.
Well at least they can't make us pregnant.
Hello?
Are you sitting comfortably?
Andy, isn't it?
Yes.
How are you feeling?
I think I need medical attention, and my friend also.
Of course. We are not animals.
But first you will tell us what you are doing in our country.
I'm trying to help you, but I don't...
You are not helping us at all Andy.
Tell me the plans of the Israelis, Andy.
I have told you, I'm not an Israeli.
Oh, shit!
{y: I}There's nothing you can do about pain.
{y: I}You've just got to accept it.
{y: I}But it's great when your body says: {y: I}"That's enough';
{y: I}and starts to drift you off {y: I}into unconsciousness.
- Ding? - Andy!
Help me.
Please help me.
I can prove I'm not an Israeli.
- How? - Because I have a foreskin.
- A what, Andy? - A foreskin.
Jews are circumcised, it's part of their religion.
Let me show you.
See! Foreskin.
"I pulled as hard as I could", {y: I}which was difficult due to the cold.
So, Andy. Now you will tell me, huh?
What is your missión and what else are the British planning to do?
"We might be captured", {y: I}but we still had a job to do.
{y: I}The Regiment needed time {y: I}to carry out damage limitation.
{y: I}They had to assume the worst.
{y: I}That we'd been captured {y: I}and told the Iraqis everything.
{y: I}0ther operations would {y: I}have to be cancelled or changed.
"Queen and Country" - "that's bullshit."
- Shall we start again, Andy? - No!
So, Andy. Tell us.
I'm a member of a search and rescue team.
And what do you do, Andy?
We rescue downed pilots.
- I'm a medic. - Medic?
And what was your missión on this occasión?
I don't know. The officer knew.
They operate on a "need to know" basis.
They don't tell us anything, just to get on the heli.
- The helicopter. - Good, Andy.
Now you'll eat. Then we will talk some more.
Thank you. And my friend?
Yes, yes.
But first you will sign a paper for the Red Cross.
So they know you are all right.
I can't. The army will punish me if you ever send me home.
{y: I}I tried to find God. {y: I}I begged Him to help us
{y: I}and said as much of the Lord's Prayer {y: I}as I could remember.
{y: I}Nothing happened.
Manchester United win. Very good team.
You look very happy now. You look very happy.
- Stan? - Hey, no look!
- Come here often, wanker? - Hey, guys, no talking!
No talking, Dinger!
- Stan's here. - Shut up, shut up!
You're in a terrible state, Andy.
How are your teeth? Are they still giving you some problems?
They're broken.
We have a dentist here. He worked in Guy's for nine years.
One of the best.
Open wide, please.
Do you really think we are going to help you?
You are irrelevant to us. You lied to us.
You are the men from the South, aren't you?
You're stupid. Stupid.
I'm helping you all I can, but I'm just a medic.
How many medics, Andy, leave 100 men dead,
and another 100 in the hospita"I?"
Tell me what your task was. Tell me. Tell me!
I told you I don't know anything about that.
I'm a medic. Please. Please!
I need him on his back.
Do it! Bomb me, you bastards! I'm down here!
Don't do it! He don't mean it!
Fuck it! Do it! Do it!
Why are you getting me into trouble?
I asked you for an answer yesterday. Do you have it for me?
Yes, sir.
Tosca. "Turncoats for the opera."
Five letters.
T- O-S...
...C- A. Tosca.
You and your friends will not last much longer.
We have others in the hospital You know that, Andy?
Look, you are the senior rank here, huh?
No one knows you are alive.
We can let you die, and no one would know.
Your government, they do not care about you.
To them, you are just a tool to be used.
Andy, if you will not tell me who you are and what you are doing,
we will simply let the others die.
Think about it, Andy.
You bad boy, Dinger! Bad boy!
{y: I}This wasn't a film
{y: I}where the actor sticks out {y: I}his chest and shouts: "Never.!"
{y: I}This was real We'd all fulfilled {y: I}our obligations to operational security.
{y: I}It was now time {y: I}to fulfil our obligations to each other.
Very bad boy!
This is disgusting.
Why did you do that?
The window was open, so I threw it out.
I opened the window because those fags are killing me.
Sorry. I see shit and have to react.
- What's this? Jam?! - Don't even think about it.
Don't...
- Jam again! - I'm closing the window.
Clash, Sex Pistols, Showaddywaddy?
That's not mine.
Sorry, your whole tape co"lle"ction is contaminated.
Unbelievable.
COP.
- A what? - Close Observation Platoon.
Every infantry unit has one.
We closely observe what's going on.
In this case it was the MSR.
- MS...? ...R. The Main Supply Route.
We had to report on movements there.
It was just a patrol put together for the job.
Tell me what happened.
A shepherd walked into our position, so we had to get out.
- So you headed north? - Yeah, for Syria.
It was the only way out.
- How did you get in? - A helicopter.
Show me.
"What I told them was a good story", {y: I}and almost true.
{y: I}I simply left out words {y: I}like "Scud"and "The Regiment".
{y: I}I had nothing to lose. Chances were {y: I}we were dead anyway.
{y: I}It was now a question of {y: I}waiting to see if they believed me.
Here.
"They let me be for the next few days", {y: I}just working on Dinger and Stan.
{y: I}They wanted to confirm my story.
{y: I}I would soon find out {y: I}if it had worked out or not.
"I wasn't afraid", "I was depressed."
{y: I}I thought of Jilly and Kate not even {y: I}knowing if I was alive or dead.
"If they were going to do it", "let's just" {y: I}crack on and make it quick.
Ray's bloody dead. God knows where Stan is.
No bloody comms, no decent maps, no bloody backup.
They can't even get the weather right.
And all my sweets are green.
Green for Christ's sake! I hate bloody green.
Back in Rhodesia, there's a tree ca"lle"d morula tree...
{y: I}The next few days were relatively happy.
{y: I}All we could do was talk about "families", "life and each other."
{y: I}Here was Dinger on God:
I don't believe in the old bastard.
{y: I}0n his family:
We had the most God-awful row the night before we left.
Still hurts when I think about it.
{y: I}0n me:
Henry vlll, that's who you are.
31, and already you've got three wives. What's your excuse?
"Adoption", "mate. Never knew my mother."
That explains everything, does it? Your taste in music?
Your appalling clothes? Why did you join the army?
{y: I}What.?
Why did you join the army?
{y: I}To keep out of trouble.
You thought if you joined there'd be no more trouble?
{y: I}Best thing I ever did. {y: I}Never been in trouble since.
What the bloody hell do you call this?
# "He's crazy like a fool"
# "What about Daddy Cool"
# "Daddy", "Daddy Cool"
# "He's crazy like a fool"
# "What about Daddy Cool"
Hands, Andy.
Andy? Do you like Michael Jackson?
Yeah, I do.
Did you know I sing in a group here in the city?
Play every Saturday night. Play the Meridien Hotel
- No, I don't believe you. - Why? Don't you like my voice?
# "Daddy", "Daddy Cool"
Will you show me London after the war?
Yeah, sure.
Andy, I love you.
- Do you love me? - Yes, Jeral, I love you.
Hands, Andy.
I'm pissed off sucking up to that little wanker for your fags.
I will never divulge what you two get up to.
- I licked shit off my hands for them. - Ah, quit honking.
I'm saving one for the firing squad. Can't be long now.
Do you really think it's going to be like "Breaker Morant"?
Dawn sky, chaplain, last fag,
instead of bend over, bang, straight into the bin-liner?
{y: I}We weren't shot. "Not that week", "not the following."
{y: I}Apart from the chance of being blown "apart by the bombs falling on the city",
{y: I}we slowly began to believe that {y: I}we might just get out in one piece.
Reports in from Syria inform us that a British soldier
crossed the border in the area where you were captured.
They say in Damascus that he's SAS.
Are they treating you well?
Oh... For you.
Well done, Chris. Well done.
But they're all green!
Stan! Dinger!
You are going home.
Not Andy.
Not Andy?
Not Andy.
- Don't worry, we'll get you out of here. - I'll call Jilly, mate.
Here, catch.
{y: I}This was the worst time for me.
"Why had they kept me behind", {y: I}except to shoot me.?
"Dying didn't worry me",
{y: I}but I'd taken it for granted that {y: I}we were going to go together.
"I kept seeing my own funeral in Hereford",
{y: I}with Dinger smoking {y: I}all the way through the service.
{y: I}When a colonel had said "what a good soldier I'd been",
{y: I}Dinger would have shouted: "Wanker.!"
{y: I}Then they would've drunk {y: I}the 500 pounds of booze
"I paid for the last piss"- "up."
"And then I got to thinking about Kate",
{y: I}and by first light {y: I}she'd made me feel more composed.
The Iraqi soldiers seemed to deserve
pity rather than anger. 200,000 of them gave themselves up.
All they want to do is go home to their families.
They are war-weary and have no spirit left for the battle.
The road north from Kuwait to the Iraqi port of Basra
showed the cruel reality.
The highway littered with the burnt-out, smashed remains
of vehicles the Iraqis stole in Kuwait.
Saddam promised them glory, but they've lost it instead.
As far as I'm concerned, it's over.
Saddam Hussein had better know it's over.
If Saddam makes the mistake of starting it again,
then he's going to have a lot more trouble than he has in Iraq right now.
Reagan, Jack.
- Simpson. - First name?
- Peter. - Through those doors, up there.
McNab, British Army.
If we don't move quickly, they'll start taking hostages. Come with me.
Mark!
Mark.
I got shot, mate. In my foot!
Next thing, they handcuffed me to a bed and left me to rot.
Mark!
- Can you see it? - What?
- My foot, mate. - How can I miss it?
It's the size of a marrow!
One thing that's bugged me ever since we landed in Saudi...
Yeah?
- The piece of breeze-block. - Yeah?
- The one in my bergen. - Yeah?
Did you have anything to do with it?
Here. It's my sweet.
What colour is it, mate?
"It was green", "but I guess" {y: I}you can't have everything.
{y: I}Back in the UK "we had an outrageous piss"- "up."
"Then the psychiatrist turned up to test us",
{y: I}looking for "post"- "traumatic stress disorder."
{y: I}It turned out they were more {y: I}strung out than we were.
"War is barbaric", "but if you think" {y: I}this is the bit where I say
{y: I}I want to spend the rest of my days "hugging trees", "don't hold your breath."
Hi!
{y: I}We're soldiers. {y: I}It's my professión and I'm proud of it.
{y: I}Nobody said you had to be crap at it.
"As for the men who tortured us" - {y: I}they had a job to do as well
{y: I}It's just that some of them {y: I}enjoyed it a bit too much.
{y: I}lf I met any of them "in the street tomorrow",
"and thought I could get away with it",
{y: I}I'd slot them.